Thursday, October 25, 2012

Ode to the Homemade Halloween Costume: part one

If you know me, you know I have a thing for homemade, often obscure Halloween costumes. If you don't know me, today's your lucky day because you just learned a new thing. I rarely venture into a Halloween store. I prefer to scour the racks at goodwill stores looking for the perfect clothes and accessories and what I can't find, I make out of crap I find around my house. It's not just fun for me, it's in my blood.

This week's post is dedicated to my incredibly creative parents, who came up with awesome costumes for me and my brother year after year. And one day I hope Kid A can look back and love his costumes as much as I loved mine.

Two years old. I was Smurfette. We went to a parade where I did not win any prizes in the costume contest despite obviously being the cutest kid there and having the coolest freakin costume. This was the first of many disappointing costume contests for me.

Local peeps - who remembers the original mall floor??
 After Smurfette was the return of the bunny costume.

Next up was the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio. I know, right? Who would think of that? Check out my wings! According to legend, this costume was the result of a last minute all nighter, which just further confirmed for me, as I sat hunched over my sewing machine at 1:30 AM, that no matter what, you turn into your parents. It just happens.

The Blue Fairy, if you're not familiar

 The year I was in kindergarten marked a stretch of years that I started to pick my own costumes. You can tell by the many years in a row that I dressed up as this black cat. I clearly remember my mom being so disappointed when I told her I wanted to be a cat... AGAIN.

Can you remember what that gross fake blood tasted like? Remember holding your breath and squeezing your eyes shut while you got sprayed down with that weird fishy-smelling colored hairspray? Suffering through watching Linus making a fool of himself ONCE AGAIN waiting for that douchey Great Pumpkin so you could get to the real deal - the ghost pirates from Garfield Halloween? I can. That's Halloween to me. Blah blah candy, blah blah pumpkins. I could take or leave them. In second grade, I wanted to be a vampire, so that's what I got. My brother had the better costume this year by a landslide though.
This one goes to my brother as Roger Rabbit

Somehow after the cat costume run, my mom convinced me to let her take the reigns again. That's how I ended up as a Working Mother. Complete with baby in a sling and a pan full of bacon. (please don't make me explain. I hope you get it.) At the time, I haaaaaated this costume. The rest of the girls in my class were punk rockers or cheerleaders that year. Of course, now I can look back and recognize the genius here.
How many of you actually grew up to be a  princess?

In fourth grade, I was a gypsy. This was a cool costume, but I shamelessly copied my friend's costume that year so I can't really take any credit.
what you can't see: those little wrist cymbals

Fifth grade was a good one. I was a French girl. I loved this costume so much. I got to wear red lipstick and look pretty. Not exactly a punk rocker or cheerleader, but still. Red lipstick. Totally whorey. That's what Halloween is all about, amirite?
Ooh la la!

Sixth grade. My first school Halloween dance. I'm sure my 12 year old self was trying to scheme some way to get away with working fishnet stockings into my getup and being a slutty fill-in-the-blank, but instead I dressed up as a dead prom queen. Zero boys danced with me that night, but who cares because it was a cool costume.
...and when they got to the house, the back seat was EMPTY!

Ah. Seventh grade. One of the most painful of all the grades. Too cool to dress up, too young to let it go, still want free candy. You're never too old for free candy. My solution to that was this lame... pirate costume? I think? Not one of my best costume years. Or one of my best years on general.
not my best work

Eighth grade marked the year I was officially too cool for Halloween costumes. I do remember going out trick or treating, but I think I just dressed as a thug poser, AKA myself. Think Dangerous Minds. Brown lip liner, big hoop earrings, solid as a rock bangs. Cool costume, bro.

Stay tuned for part two, in which I make up for all those years of being too cool for Halloween!


  1. OMG! I love your costumes. Every one of them. Funny, though I didn't grow up in your area, I think our local mall had the same flooring :) Seriously cute costumes and you look just like your little guy in the Smurf photos!

  2. batgirl  costume features a dress, belt, cape, boot tops, a PVC headpiece, and a set of cuffs. From an Amazon Princess to a beloved founding member of the Justice League, Wonder Woman has captured young girls' imaginations for many crime fighting years.


let's get awkward!