Thursday, January 31, 2013

Let's Talk About Jess & Nick (New Girl, Spoiler Alert)

Oh hey, I'm back. I know. It's been a while. I was busy writing my book.

Just kidding, I'm just lazy sometimes. It's hard to get back into it after you've gone radio silent for over two months. I've been waiting for the right time to jump back in. Living life, waiting for something awesome to happen. And then, there it was on my DVR. Something awesome.

If you don't watch New Girl, you should. If you don't watch it because you're a dude and you think it's for girls, I would like to ask you how you ended up on my blog. If you're a girl and you find Zooey D annoying, you're just jealous so shut it! If you don't watch it because you don't "believe" in tv, get in your prius and drive into a tree. You're a weirdo. If you have any other reasons for not watching it, you're wrong. Plain and simple. You are wrong.

So anyway... the moment we've all been waiting for:
It happened, and it was so hot, and everyone on the intenetz was all, "OMG!!! I want somebody to kiss me like that!"

Well guess what? Somebody DID kiss me like that once. Almost exactly like that, actually. That was eerily close to what happened the first time Mr. F kissed me, for those of you who couldn't join us in the parking lot behind that restaurant that one night. Seriously, watching that took me right back. It was so fun. I don't think I will ever delete this episode off my DVR just so I can creepily revisit it for years and years.

And now, allow me to ruin it for all you romantic types. I have to, because art imitates life, so let's be real here. There's some speculation that this kiss could send things into shark jumping territory, but I don't think it will. It's possible to drag this kind of thing out for a while. But eventually, things get... boring. Familiar. For lack of a better term.

Here's a spoiler alert for season seven of New Girl - Nick and Jess don't kiss anymore. Not like that, anyway. They don't sleep in the same bed, they fart like they're alone in the room. They go to the bathroom with the door open and when they brush their teeth they just let the toothpaste foam drool down their chins because who cares? They still love each other, and they still crack each other up, don't make any mistake about that. They're still best friends. It's just not what anyone would call sexy or want to watch on tv. Unless you like watching tv shows about fighting over who has to do the dishes.

How do I know? Do I have some inside connection to the writers of this show? Eh, just call it a hunch.