Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Five Stages of Downsizing: Depression

It's story time! Last time I was laid off, I was all fired up for a couple of weeks, and then it happened: I ran out of steam. I had actually been pretty ambitious at first. I cleaned every room in my house, redecorated, kept busy, all while applying for jobs. And then one day, Kind of out of nowhere, I stopped fighting it. I sat down and put on the tv, despite promising myself I would not. Once that tv went on, it didn't go off, and each day the time spent watching 90210 reruns outweighed the time spent looking for jobs a little more.

At the time, we were getting some work done on our house and these two guys were outside every day. They never came in, but one day one of them knocked on the door and asked to use the bathroom. I told him he could just come in, he didn't have to ask, and he would come in every once in a while. Our windows were open, and I heard him say to his boss, "What the fuck does she do all day?"

What an embarrassment! I was so ashamed of myself after hearing that. I really was just laying around like a disgusting slob. I probably didn't even brush my teeth that day. The point here is that it's important to maintain some kind of momentum so you don't fall into the sweatpants trap like I did and end up sitting on your couch all day with the shades drawn and potato chip crumbs all over the place like some kind of crusty old hoarder. And for gods sake, don't start day drinking!

Even if you're feeling like shit about yourself, at least put some pants on.


  1. That sounds heavenly, I would love to be a crusty old hoarder for a little while in that case :)

  2. This Halloween must've been real fun for you guys. Loved all your costumes all the way. Thanks for sharing these amazing moments with us here


let's get awkward!