Monday, August 5, 2013

Swag Ho Monday: Sea-Band Anti-Nausea Ginger Gum

Do you know what sea bands are? Those little wristband looking things that are supposed to help with motion sickness by pressing on pressure points?

image from some UK costume website. what do you suppose this costume is?
Did you know Sea Bands also makes anti-nausea gum, "for travel, morning sickness, and chemotherapy induced nausea relief"? I did not, until someone handed me a pack. I was immediately excited about it. I don't typically suffer from motion sickness, I'm not pregnant, and thankfully I'm not undergoing chemotherapy. So why would I care about this gum?

Emetophobia is clinically defined as “an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting.” To which I reply, "Shut up, it's not irrational. You dick." Here is where I will confess to you some of the ways my intense fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting affects my life:

I have panic attacks about flying. (So what? Lots of people are afraid of flying, right?) Yeah, well, I'm not afraid of the actual flying. I'm fine with flying. I'm not afraid of the plane crashing or anything like that. I'm afraid the person next to me will reach for that barf bag, the mere sight of which makes me break out in a cold sweat, and I will get their puke germs.

I spend the months of October to May in an almost constant state of stress, worrying that the flu germs will get on me. When I was pregnant, I woke up every single day and thought to myself, "Shit. This is the day the morning sickness will kick in." And I freaked out. A lot.

I used to step over all of the places in our house where my brother threw up. I had this kind of subconcsious map in my head. There's a spot in my parents' house in front of the bathroom that I still step over out of habit.

I won't put myself in situations that increase my odds of being anywhere near the possibility of puke if I can help it. Even if it means missing out on fun. You will never see me on a cruise, a roller coaster, or on a playdate with a kid who once met someone who had a stomach virus.

Okay, so maybe it is a tiny bit irrational.

That said, I have these little coping mechanisms that help me get through life without dying from extreme idiocy. One of them is ginger. Ginger anything. I was so excited to have this Sea Band Ginger Gum when I was on a plane a couple weeks ago. The rational part of me is well aware that chewing on a stupid piece of gum is not going to do anything when that guy next to me starts yakking up his breakfast in that tiny little bag and I have to just sit there and deal with it. But the part of me that feeds this fear says to me, "Heeeeeeey! It says anti-nausea on the package! You're safe if that guy starts barfing all over the place. I promise!"

As far as the actual product goes, the gum has about as much flavor stamina as Big League Chew. You get about three chews before every single speck of flavor has gone on to a better place.

image from hickoree.com
At least with Big League Chew, you could still blow huge bubbles with the giant flavoless blob for a good long while after the flavor was lost. With Sea Band Ginger Gum, you're just stuck with this tiny little wad of gum that you can really only chew with your front teeth. And let's be honest, when you're already looking kind of stupid for covering your face and panicking when the guy in the seat next to you reached for the Sky Mall magazine (ohthankgoditwasn'tthebarfbagTHANKGOD), do you really want to be sitting there chewing a miniature piece of gum between your front teeth? Still, it's ginger flavor (for two seconds) so I guess it still counts for vomit protection power.

So there you have it. Sea Band Anti Nausea Ginger Gum: actual gum? no. gross. Irrational vomit fear crutch? yes, totally.


2 comments:

  1. I never have met anyone who hasn't yaked before... what do you do in movies where a character is blowing chunks?

    ReplyDelete

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