Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I Just Don't Care About Shoes

Shoes. I hate them. Now that I don't have to go work in an office every day, I have realized my full potential as a person who wears the same pair of shoes every day. In the winter, it's these:

Click to buy!

In the summer, it's these:
Click to buy! Be a slob like me!

Conversely, Mr. F loves shoes. He keeps buying all these designery shoes that all look the same to me. I guess they're nice. I don't know. I would wear no shoes all the time if society would allow it.

Lucky for me, Kid A seems to have inherited my shoe apathy. When he was really little, barely walking, I bought all these ridiculous shoes for him. Because baby TOMS! Baby Vans! I bought him a $40 pair of Stride Rite that he wore zero times because hey, if they cost $40 they have to be good, right?


...are the only shoes my child will wear. They look really great on the rare occasion that he has to get dressed up for things. My dad got them for him at WalMart, and when he did, he ingeniously bought the next size up too. Now, I need to get another pair and I can't find them anywhere!

I recently got him a pair of those blinky superhero sneaks for his birthday. And do you know what my three year old did? He pushed the box back to me and said, "Take them back, mom."

So if anyone knows where I can find these totally trashy sneakers, please, PLEASE help!

Friday, March 7, 2014

How My Kid Became Obsessed with Michael Jackson

No, I mean obsessed. Like, he wears a sparkly glove out in public. Do you know any other two year olds who wanted to be Michael Jackson for Halloween?

please notice his hair

I try not to make this blog about my child, because let's face it, nobody cares as much about your special snowflake as you do. I know that. But I get a lot of questions about his interest in the King of Pop, and I also want to document this so that one day I can embarrass him in front of his girlfriend I'll remember it.

It all started with my friend's son, Brian [name changed to protect the innocent, and plus I don't have her permission, and plus the real life Brian would probably kill me]. Brian is a HUGE fan of MJ. In fact, I went to the movies to see This is It with him when he was maybe five years old. Anyway, over the summer, Brian, who was nine at the time, put on a show for us parents. He tirelessly performed a spectacular two hour set list, complete with costume changes. And Kid A was absolutely starstruck, and the rest is history.

He thinks Brian is Michael Jackson. When we get in the car (EVERY TIME WE GET IN THE CAR), he says, "Mom, put Brian on." We watch Michael Jackson videos on the iPad constantly. He used to walk around wearing a winter glove before I made him the sparkly one. I love catching people's reactions to him in public.

I could talk about it all day, but I might as well show you. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how much is this video worth? It's a little long, but if you stick with it you will be paid in power-slides.